The gift of 2020

This week my Dad turns 60! He’s 60!! As I put together a photo slideshow of his life I was so at awe at how fast time really flies.

As a young adult I viewed life as so vast. I looked at everything as opportunities for growth. I volunteered a lot and went to a lot of networking events for my career. For me, meeting people and building relationships always seemed like a pillar to my humanity.

When I got close to thirty I started to realize the importance of my existing relationships; my family and close friends.

And then Maya came along.

I had an emergency cesarean so I wasn’t prepared for the surgery. Didn’t realize how sick I would feel having her put on my chest that I asked for her to be removed (I was afraid I’d throw up on her).  After the procedure they take you to recovery by yourself for at least an hour. I didn’t get to hold my baby until after then.

When I saw her I immediately wanted to hold her close to me but I wasn’t prepared for the flood of emotions – all kinds of it. 

Looking back now those days are such a blur. What I do remember feeling was a huge wave of sadness. I remember holding Maya and thinking, my parents are now grandparents. 

All of my grandparents are gone. I was close to my mom and dad’s parents that the thought of feeling that same grief of my own parents dying made me so so sad.

Holding and seeing Maya made me realize how finite life really is. Maybe it’s cause I had her later in life? Who knows.

Time might seem slow but it really does fly. These COVID days have really given us so much to be thankful for. The slow movement of time and imposed pressure to be present is a gift that only 2020 can give.

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