It hurts to sit or lie down in one position for more than five minutes. My arms are sore from the carpal tunnel starting up again. My back and hip pain act up from sciatica flares when I over extend myself which happens every day from carrying the 2 year old in and out of her crib, her highchair, her car seat, the bath and when she has her meltdowns.

But what hurts the most is having to post on social media the other issues erupting at home instead of being asked how my day was by someone who’s supposed to care about me. No validation, no emotional support, no empathy.

And despite being fully aware of the issues I’m going through at home, can’t even take the 5 seconds to send a text message to ask me how my day has been. While others can seem to find the time to type the five words “how are you holding up?”.

Countless decisions made without considering me or discussing with me but just telling me what’s happening and having me react and deal with what’s going to take place. 

It has come to this.

I planned these weeks to keep myself busy mentally and supported but what I didn’t take into consideration was my body’s protest, the emotional responses my kids would have and the completely overwhelming nature of being the sole parent for 10 days.

Now I feel like I have nothing left. 
There’s nothing left in this for me.